Thursday, 6 October 2016

Under Pressure

No matter how we parent our children, we still feel pressure to be better!

It isn't all rosy being a parent. Yes, we have these beautiful children loving us unconditionally and have wonderful adventures together, but all the time we are doing these things and learning with every step how to care for and raise our children, we constantly worry about how we are seen by others!
I am not sure if it is just me, but I often find myself wondering if I'm doing things right and whether or not others will think I'm a bad parent or not. It is hard with so many people quick to judge others in the playground, out shopping or on social media. It is almost like for every step you take or decision you make, there is someone out there ready to put you down!
As parents, we spend 80% if not 100% of our time worrying about our children. Are they ok at school today? Are they struggling? Are they eating well? Have they had someone to play with.....it goes on and on! No wonder parents get so stressed with this on top of all the other factors they need to think about every single day!

I have tried not to get too hung about what people think of my parenting skills. After all, they are my children and how I raise them is my business, but I still do find myself asking others for their opinions and advice. Most of the time, we find ourselves longing to be like other parents who seem "perfect" to us....those who seem to have themselves together and calm. Truth is, they are probably as stressed as you are and look at you wishing exactly the same!! It's crazy!

I think the more we doubt ourselves, the more our children see how stressed we become trying to conform. It is hard when they've been driving us crazy all day (I've had one of those days with my youngest!!) and you just want to totally lose your temper and stamp your feet and scream!  But it is something we all have to deal with as parents as best we can. We all make mistakes...I know I make plenty but I've never been a parent to a six year old before, and just like she is finding her way in the world, I am still finding my feet in parenting her!!

We, as parents, need to give ourselves a break! We need to praise ourselves more! Once, I had a particularly good day where I solved a parenting issue with my eldest and found myself congratulating myself in the mirror that evening! I should do it more often as we don't have someone there all the time giving us a pat on the back, do we? Maybe one way to handle it is to write the positives down, especially on a bad day...

"I didn't raise my voice"
"I held it together when they went into school for the first time today"
"I stuck to my guns"
"I CAN DO THIS!!"

I am going to try this. It would be interesting if any of you do too and see if it helps! It is time to forget worrying about what others think of our parenting and start praising ourselves for them great job we are doing!!

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