Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Why are we invisible?

     It may seem all glitter and fun, but looks can be deceptive for the Stay at home Mum

It is the ideal scenario for many parents who long to be at home with their children. But, being an full time mother can really have a hard effect on Mums who soon find themselves suffering with a lack of identity.

When you are full time work, you have your very own built in network of people to whom you practically see every day. You forge relationships with these people and they become firm friends. Then you leave to have a child and decide not to return. Yes, you have a new purpose and a new found sense of belonging, but you also start to loose sense of the person you were before that little bundle arrived.

For many Mums at home with their children, the sense of being invisible is rife. This is something I was beginning to feel recently, and so I started to research it to see if it was just me being totally irrational. The truth is, this is something felt strongly by so many other sahm's . Yes, you can meet new people at toddler groups etc, but these friendships are not often met without your children involved and people move on. I have met some lovely Mums to which I am still in touch with, but as life does, things have changed somewhat with our children going to nursery/preschool and some moving away.

This is where the struggle begins. Your child starts school and although you are on hand for assembly's, fetes and helping out here and there, your role as a parent changes somewhat. I am finding with my daughter at preschool, my life is the housework. I do enjoy this, but it does not quite challenge my brain as much as working did. This is one thing I found when researching this. Many Stay at home mums are deemed "too stupid" to be in work. Almost as if because they are now at home changing nappies instead of in the office, their brains have ceased to work!

As many stay at home mummies will say, myself included, it is not that we do not enjoy being home with our children. On the contrary! We are just saying that there is more to us then cleaning faces, wiping bottoms and doing the laundry! Society does not always see the true reasons for our choices to bring up our children and therefore labels and judges. What is often forgotten (and I am having to remind myself!) is that we DO have a voice and we DO bring something to society....namely rearing the next generation! It may seem like we are invisible to the outside world (and very often our own children and partners!) but we can make a difference and be heard.........if only others would give us the chance!!

Read more about this subject on these pages:

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