Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Oh, how they embarrass us!!

                   They love to say and do things to embarrass, what do you do?

It is something us parents have to deal with.....our child totally embarrassing us! Is it any wonder we do the same to them when they are older?! Whether it be unwanted behaviour, playing up in front if others or saying something other people would find inappropriate, embarrassing moments are bound to occur whilst you bring up your child.

I have had several embarrassing moments with our daughter. She has asked me questions about other peoples appearances very loudly, and been badly behaved in situations where she usually is so good. As with so many of our children's actions as they grow up, it is all part of the learning experience.
Another little consolation is that, most of the time, people do understand that children are just voicing or acting out their own take on the world, even if we sit there going rather red and panicking about how to handle the situation.

The best thing to do is try and not show your total embarrassment. It is hard, especially when things happen in front of friends and family, but they should understand (and a little apology can go a long way!) Remember that the child is simply trying to make some understanding of the world, even if they do not usually do something like this usually. It is a way of testing the boundaries.... a sort of cause and effect situation, where their brain is questioning "What would happen if......"

I find if I deal with embarrassing situations calmly and firmly, things are not too bad. Of course, you never can stop the way you are feeling, but for the child it is something alien to them. They do not really understand embarrassment themselves at such a young age. This is something they begin to learn as they get older and into school age. If we get an embarrassing question, we try and deal with it in the most honest way possible. My daughter often asks her Daddy quite openly about his lack of hair on his head. This is quite an embarrassing topic for him, but he says the loveliest things to her to get her to understand, such as "I don't have much hair because I gave it all to you!" or more honestly " Because I am a bit old and my hair is not as strong as yours or Mummy's"
Personally, when my daughter comments on someones appearance I try and reply " It is what makes them special, just like you have blue eyes" or something along that way of thinking.

The most embarrassing thing for parents does tend to be unwanted behaviour. It happens to us all and can be quite harrowing when it occurs to a parent. The best thing here is again to be calm, but to be firm about what is expected of the child. Take them away from the situation and tell them where they have gone wrong and the consequences of their actions. It is always most upsetting for the parent (and for any "victims" of the behaviour), especially as if another child is harmed as a consequence of your child's behaviour, your feelings are not always taken into account once people get angry.

What embarrassing things have happened to you courtesy of your little one and how did you deal with them?

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