Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Parenting??? It is all about attitudes!


              I have realised just recently that our parenting attitudes make such a difference!!


Everyone has a different way of parenting. Even people with similar parenting styles have some differences too. But our attitudes do have a huge impact on our children's upbringing and can effect the way they see life themselves as they grow older.

Attitudes are not just down to different parenting styles (see here for more on parenting styles ) It is also about how you conduct yourself as a parent too. My daughter is desperate to be like all her older children friends, and therefore thinks she can do everything that they can. We were with some older children yesterday who were allowed to run off up ahead, a little out of sight, where as I asked my little one to stop. She hated that and got very frustrated with me, but my attitude is that I need to be able to see her at all times, especially as she is so young.

I have learnt to allow her to have a little more freedom, however, recently. I have been letting her run off ahead of me some more, especially in wide open spaces where the temptation to run is just too great and I feel that she should have some freedom to explore by herself. All I ask is that she stays in eyesight and stops when I call her to stop. I have found that by being more positive towards her with my parenting, she reacts in a more positive way too!!

Imagine being in a relationship where the other person is always saying "No" to your requests. It would be quite frustrating. I am not saying we should say yes to everything a child wants, on the contrary, but more to think about things in a more positive vibe. How can we turn the "No" into a little more positive note? I often make sure I explain why I am saying No to my daughter, and also think about something that can be positive from that. For example, my daughter asked for a banana the other day and was most upset when I said she couldn't. I told her the reason was that we had none left and that she could help me go the following day to choose some in the grocers and hence the tantrum was diverted!

It doesn't work for everything, It is not easy to turn something dangerous into a positive, but you can change the idea in their head. Eg: the child wants to climb up a cupboard and jump off of it, but instead you suggest going to the local park or indoor play area to do some climbing for a safer place to try things out! It is hard to have a positive attitude as a parent, especially with the world being the way it is nowadays, bullies and horrible people out there and also so many dangers awaiting around each corner, but we do have to give a little sometimes. It is just a case of finding your middle ground and realising that something is always done better with a little smile and positive thinking!!

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